Fools show their annoyance at once,
but the prudent overlook an insult.
Proverbs 12:16

This Proverb is an example of antithetical parallelism. That’s just a fancy way of saying the first line is the opposite of the second. And for the follower of Christ, that means there are two polarized behaviors available to us when insulted: we can choose to be annoyed or we can choose to let it go.

Choice number one is easy. It takes no effort at all to be annoyed. We even rationalize annoyance: “I’m having a bad day” … so that makes rudeness, irritability, and anger acceptable. Any fool can respond with annoyance when provoked.

Contrasting with the fool’s response is that of the prudent. This is the woman who makes a conscious decision to not be annoyed.  It doesn’t mean the insult is not real or even intentional. The difference is the response to it.

The problem with insults is they are often unexpected. It’s difficult (at best) to maintain our composure when blindsided by insults. If there was an early warning—like the road sign that clues us in to a sharp curve or bump ahead—we could hit our proverbial brakes, breathe deep, and be ready. But often it’s just the opposite. Not only do the insults often come unexpectedly, they also have an uncanny way of rearing up when we didn’t sleep well the night before, on a day the a/c has gone out, or when the toilet overflowed.

When insults rile you, your response gives you away: in that moment, you're more controlled by a human pushing your buttons than by the Holy Spirit. But when you allow a provocation to go unanswered, then you are being led by the Spirit of God. Click To Tweet

The key to responding well—to letting it go and releasing the annoyance—is authority. The follower of Christ has to decide, today and every day, who is in charge. Who controls you? If it is the Holy Spirit, then we choose to follow His lead and let go of the insult and the resulting annoyance. 

Letting it go is hard, especially for those of us growing up in a society where we learned to demand our rights and stick up for ourselves. It may feel like a loss of dignity to simply let it go. But walking in the “opposite spirit” is a mark of spiritual growth. When we are Spirit-led, it enables us to make a deliberate choice to follow His lead and let go of our natural desire to bark back.

The bottom line is: Who controls you? The surly waitress, less-than-helpful customer service rep, or tantrum-throwing toddler (or teenager) before you … or the Holy Spirit?

When insults rile you, your response gives you away: in that moment, you’re more controlled by a human pushing your buttons than by the Holy Spirit. But when you let it go—when you allow a provocation to go unanswered—then you are being led by the Spirit of God.

We can never control the behavior of others, but we can change our response to it. Will you allow the Spirit of God to take the Word of God and allow you to release the annoyance that rises up when provoked? Will you choose to just let it go?

The woman of God chooses to overlook an insult.

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