Moses’ father-in-law replied,
“What you are doing is not good.
You and these people who come to you will only wear yourselves out.
The work is too heavy for you; you cannot handle it alone.”
Exodus 18:17-18
When Jethro, Moses’ father-in-law, came to visit, he assessed the situation, identified the problem, and suggested a solution.
Moses was arising early and serving as the judge for the people – hearing cases, settling disputes, and making decisions to dole out justice – from dawn to dusk. (Read Exodus 18:13-27 for the full story).
Jethro took note that this was a heavy burden for Moses. He also understood this method was not only bad for Moses, but also for the people. Yes, Moses was getting worn out, but the Israelites spent all day (and maybe day after day) awaiting their turn to be heard. Everyone involved was surely exhausted. And those long waits in the hot desert sun probably meant even more cases arose that needed to be settled!
Jethro’s solution is akin to a modern-day appellate court system: divide the people into groups of thousands, hundreds, fifties, and tens. Choose trustworthy men to preside over each group. Make sure everyone knows the rules, train the leaders, and then you hear only the cases that make their way up the chain to you. Brilliant idea!
Moses received the wise counsel from his father-in-law and implemented the plan. Because of his teachable spirit, both Moses and the people gained relief and satisfaction. The workload was shared, with more men trained and involved. Moses wasn’t worn out. God’s people did not have to wait to resolve their disagreements. The solution came about because Moses did not allow pride to preclude him from releasing responsibility, thereby allowing others to lead and serve.
Are you in a place today of feeling burdened, overwhelmed, and exhausted? Are you laboring from dawn to dusk, yet feeling more behind when you go to bed than when you got up? Your job may not be judicial, but you find that cooking, cleaning, grading, washing, weeding, scrubbing, baking, and a zillion other “-ings” demand your hours and rob you of peace and joy in the course of a day.
Would you consider receiving some wise counsel from Jethro?
If you are feeling overwhelmed, there could be many reasons:
- you’ve taken on more than you should
- saying “yes” without praying first
- failure to plan well
- failure to budget time well
- you’ve assumed the martyr mindset – everything is my job!
If your life is frenzied and stressful, take a moment to breathe deep. Pray. Ask the Lord to help you discern what you need to keep doing and what you need to release. As you focus on exactly what tasks are YOUR responsibility, step into Jethro’s shoes and assess the situation. Do you need to do some delegating to your children?
Some of us struggle with laziness and idleness, while others wrestle with over-working. The over-working may be the result of failing to plan; when we don’t have a plan for delegating tasks, it may just feel easier to jump in and do it ourselves.
But the over-working may also be rooted in something ugly: PRIDE.
Do you notice how insidious pride can be? We kick it out the front door and sometimes it comes slithering in the back, wearing a noble costume.
It may be pride if we refuse or don’t want help because we either want the task done our way (the right way, of course!) or we want all the praise for it. We want the bragging rights.
One telltale way to identify pride as the motivation? We enjoy rattling off the look-at-what-I’ve-got-done-today list:
- Up at 4:30 am
- Quiet time
- Treadmill
- Two loads of laundry (washed and folded!)
- Sunday School lesson planned
- Dinner in the crock-pot
- Baked five loaves of bread
- Read aloud to the children
- Scrubbed the bathrooms
- Mopped the floors
Check, check, check. Etc., etc., etc. Ad nauseum, ad nauseum, ad nauseum.
Can I ask you in the kindest, gentlest way, my friend – do you do what you do to feel needed, important, or irreplaceable? Would you check in with our Lord and ask Him to reveal the motives of your heart, and give you the help you need to both manage your home well and find that place of peace and joy that should characterize our lives in Him?
As you both pry and pray your fingers off the everything-is-my-job mindset, perhaps it will help for you to realize that part of your role as Mom is to also make time to train up your children to do laundry, clean a bathroom, and de-clutter a closet. Those little ones will grow up and manage their own homes someday. (And, if you are like me, you will one day have daughters-in-law who love you because their husbands know how to operate the washing machine!)
Some of us need to get with it and do the work. Others of us need to hear the message from Jethro and figure out a way to share the work.
Are you ready to put away your cape? Is it time to take off your martyr hat? Are you ready to find some satisfaction like Moses and the Israelites? I’m praying for you today!
P.S. Perhaps our ‘Do It’ List can help! Learn more about it here. Consider downloading a blank copy for each child and assigning daily, weekly, or once-per-month chores to your lovelies – it will bless you, and prepare them for life, as well.
