Where you go, I will go.

Where you stay, I will stay.

Your people will be my people.

Your God will be my God.

Beautiful words. 

Words often spoken at a wedding.

Words familiar to many of us.

But, surprisingly, works spoken not from a bride to her betrothed, but from a woman to her mother-in-law. The complete text is found in the first chapter of Ruth:

“Don’t urge me to leave you or to turn back from you.
Where you go I will go,
 and where you stay I will stay.
Your people will be my people and your God my God.
 Where you die I will die, and there I will be buried.
 May the Lord deal with me, be it ever so severely, if even death separates you and me.”
Ruth 1:16-17

Biblical context for the book of Ruth:

Fleeing a famine, Naomi and her husband Elimelech left Bethlehem and immigrated to Moab. The Moabites were enemies of God’s people and idol-worshippers. Naomi and Elimelech stayed long enough for their two boys to grow up and marry Moabite women, Ruth and Orpah. Eventually, sickness claimed Naomi’s husband and both sons. Overcome by bitterness, she declared, “Just call me Mara,” a name meaning bitter, and blamed God for her circumstances. Making the decision to go back home to Bethlehem, she encouraged her daughters-in-law to stay behind, remarry, and build new lives in their homeland. Orpah went back, but Ruth pledged her life and loyalty to Naomi.

Ruth became a follower of the true God because of Naomi. Even in the midst of Naomi’s grief and self-proclaimed bitterness, her relationship with God was evident, and it drew Ruth to her and to her God.  I hope that encourages you, as it does me. I  don’t need be perfect; I can live my pain and hurt out loud. I may be a less-than-stellar example of a woman of God. But the Holy Spirit abides in me, and can use me, even in my challenging circumstances, to draw others to Himself.

The book of Ruth unfolds into a beautiful Cinderella love story, but it’s also a story of redemption and restoration. It points ultimately to Christ, our kinsman-redeemer. 

The relationship between Ruth and Naomi is precious: God uses each to bless the other. Naomi’s hope and joy is restored, Ruth’s loyalty to Naomi and Naomi’s God is rewarded with spiritual blessing, as well as marriage to a kind and godly man, and the blessing of a child. And we can all rejoice that a Moabite woman was enfolded into God’s chosen, as in Matthew 1, as Ruth’s name is listed in the genealogy of Jesus.

The relationship between Ruth and Naomi was one of mutual love, respect, and blessing. Does that describe the one you share with your mother-in-law? Would you like it to?

Perhaps no family role is the brunt of more jokes, fodder for more late-night comedians, or more caricatured in sitcoms than the mother-in-law. Poking fun at the meddling mother-in-law is the low-hanging fruit for comedy writers, it seems. We not only tolerate it, but come to expect it. But we don’t have to. We can choose to walk in honor – to choose respect and gratitude where the world expects only toleration at best, while tolerating ridicule as the norm.

The follower of Christ should extend the commandment to “honor your father and mother” to include father-in-law and mother-in-law. Look back up above and re-read the words said by Ruth to Naomi. Let them spur you on to intentionally love your mother-in-law well. If she is not a believer, your love might be used to soften her heart.

The follower of Christ should extend the commandment to 'honor your father and mother' to include father-in-law and mother-in-law. Click To Tweet

Today is National Mother-in-Law Day. It is observed annually on the fourth Sunday of October. Here are a few ideas for how you can honor the woman who gave birth to and/or raised your husband:

1. Gratefulness

Acknowledge the positive character traits in her life. Reflect on the investment she made in your husband. Choose to be thankful for the sacrifices she made that molded him into the man you get to share your life with.

2. Prayer

Ask God to bless her with His presence and His provision. Ask Him to draw her to Himself for salvation if she doesn’t know Jesus and to deepen her relationship with Him if she does.  Pray that the fruit of the Spirit would be evident in her life: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.

3. Conversation

Intentionally draw her into conversations at family gatherings. At a child’s birthday party, for example, ask about a birthday she remembers as a child or a special gift she received. During Christmas or Thanksgiving dinner, ask about holiday traditions in her growing-up family. Delight the children by asking her to share antics of their daddy when he was a little boy.

4. Honor

Choose to be loyal. Even when other women may be engaging in less-than-honoring comments about their family, choose to redirect the conversation or chime in with a positive comment about your own mother-in-law.  Sometimes the most honoring action is to just be quiet, but sometimes we must speak up. Ask the Holy Spirit to guide you.

5. Time

The gift of time is a treasure in our society. We take time. We make time. We don’t naturally have time. Buying a gift or sending flowers is always appreciated. Doing a task or running an errand for someone is helpful. But nothing trumps spending time with someone – especially as we get older.

Some of these challenges may honestly feel awkward or uncomfortable. That’s good. Our growing in Christ should bring opportunity for growth and change, and we rarely grow without discomfort. Years ago I learned: Know what is right. Do what is right. And eventually, it will feel right.

Today I want to honor my mother-in-law, Gloria. She loves the Lord and loves her family. I’m grateful she is a woman of prayer and I’m glad to be on her prayer list. I appreciate her sense of humor and generosity. Please honor your mother-in-law by sharing below a character trait or quality you appreciate about her.