Be kind and compassionate to one another, 
forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. 
Ephesians 4:32 

While recently visiting our four-year-old granddaughter, Julia Grace, we worked together on memorizing the verse above. She struggled with pronouncing the word compassionate, so we drilled down on it — both how to say it, and what it means.  

I explained compassionate to her as being loving and kind to others. She immediately responded, “Grammy, I’m always ‘passionate with my friends and my family.” (It appears we may need to discuss the definition of always at some point, as well.) 

Your Bible translation may add the word tenderhearted to Ephesians 4:32. That fits well with loving and kind.

So far, compassionate conjures up lots of warm fuzzies. Visions of releasing love to others and, of course, expecting the love to flow back likewise. I’m ready to start singing Kumbaya.  

But the latter part of this verse brings up an area that crashes in on the idealistic release-the-love/feel-the-love scene in my mind: being compassionate means we must choose to forgive. And if we are called to forgive, it means we’ve been wronged.  

Suddenly, the warm fuzzies are floating away. The euphoria is evaporating. No longer are we focusing on those who are kind and loving to us; Paul is challenging us to release forgiveness in the form of compassion to someone who has hurt or betrayed us. Perhaps someone who has broken a confidence, lied about us, or gossiped about us.  

Well, now. This sheds a whole new light on my comfortable version of compassion. It also means that my obedience may be more a choice than a feeling — a decision made in my mind, exercised by my will, and perhaps … eventually … felt in my heart.  

Paul (of course, inspired by the Holy Spirit) goes on to be sure the truth is absolutely crystal clear when that last phrase is added to the end of the verse: Just as in Christ God forgave you.  

This not-so-subtle reminder puts the command in context. Because we have been forgiven, we must choose to forgive. Our mess ups and messes and missing the mark (all that junk we put under the big umbrella called sin) are really not just crimes against humans or even humanity. They are crimes against God. And if God in His mercy and kindness can choose to forgive me, then how can I not — how dare I not — forgive those who have wronged me?  

Ephesians 4:32 sets a high standard for both the true meaning of compassion and for how far we’re expected to stretch our compassion muscle: as far as Jesus stretched for us. As we focus on Jesus, we are humbled and convicted and perhaps a bit defeated, as well. We know we cannot stretch that far. But then the focus on Jesus reminds us that He not only sets the impossibly high standard, He also equips us through His Spirit to makes the impossible possible.

God always equips us for what He calls us to do.  

Has your definition of compassion been shifted, altered, or remade by Ephesians 4:32? I hope so, because mine sure has. Compassion means monumentally more than we may first think it means.  

Compassion may be hard for Julia Grace to say, but it’s even harder for all of us to DO. We begin by seeing forgiveness as the ultimate fruit of compassion. And the only possible way to see it grow in our lives is to stay connected to the vine. Only through Jesus is real compassion possible. As you allow the truth of Ephesians 4:32 to settle over you, who in your life comes to mind that may need a little (or a lot) of compassion from you?  

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