Ever have a child beg and beg for something, only to receive it and no longer care for it after a month? Ummm, only every other day?

Ah, fleeting fancies.

What about pets? Has your child ever begged for a new puppy or hamster, promising to play with it all the time, to care for it and clean up after it faithfully? You give in — because let’s be honest, it’s fun to give our kids things they want, and it’s easy to believe a pet will be educational (or teach responsibility, or some other justification). But suddenly, that pet is more work than it’s worth. They want to do this or that, but the cage needs to be cleaned. Perhaps the puppy was adorable … and now it’s grown up and become a burden. Is it okay to just find it a new home?

What about sports, piano, or other extracurricular activities? It looked like so much fun, but suddenly it’s turned into more work than our child expected? Is it okay to let her walk away?

I suppose I’m not that different. I buy the “cutest shirt ever” and a month later it’s old news and I’m looking for something else to suit my fancy. It’s human nature to want. While that in itself isn’t an issue, always wanting more-more-more can be its own road to disaster. Consider that often-troubling verse in the Bible, “Let your conversation be without covetousness; and be content with such things as ye have: for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee.” Hebrews 13:5 (KJV)

Is having Jesus enough for us?

Sometimes I feel my toes are being squashed off the tip of my feet by that weighty verse. Seriously, I struggle with this. I’m a “gifts” person; I love to give things to my children (especially things I deem educational, thought admittedly I might twist that word a bit on occasion). Let’s be honest: having Jesus, our safety, food, shelter, and clothing are more than any of the disciples ever had. And striving for contentment is an excellent goal. Giving good things to our children isn’t wrong, but it’s a balance. We should not give them, or allow them to be given, too much. I can’t tell you where that line is for you and yours … we’ll just let the Holy Spirit convict you!

Back to my earlier questions: I’m convinced we should teach our children perseverance. They need to learn to stick things out. That said, there are good reasons to quit an activity — or to give away a new pet, as well. Maybe the influences your child is being exposed to aren’t what you hoped they would be. Suddenly you’ve found you are allergic to that new pet. Perhaps you’ve had a family emergency, or an injury prevents your child from fulfilling his original commitment. Those are all excellent reasons to scale back and rethink things. I’m not addressing those here, though. I’m talking about the times when, “Ooooh, that’s so cute, I want that!” is followed quickly by, “Wait, I don’t want to stop what I’m doing … I’m too tired to clean the cage … Do I have to walk the dog? … I don’t feel like riding the horse today!”

We have lots of pets around our home. Maybe a few too many, but I do believe they are educational, and a wholesome use of my children’s time and attention. We have two dogs, a hedgehog, my son’s leopard gecko, a couple of guinea pigs that belong to my daughters, and my oldest daughter also has a pet lizard. Because reptiles need live food, my son raises meal worms and crickets to feed his gecko, as well. All of these pets take work. Some more than others, but they are work none the less.

And for us, I’ve decided that unless there is some sort of emergency, pets are pets for life.

You want a guinea pig? Awesome! They are the sweetest pets we’ve ever owned with their cute little squeaks, always running to greet you (begging for food, no doubt). They have never bitten any of our children and are just great little pets. However, pigs they most definitely are, and they live up to that name! They eat and eat and eat … which means they poop a lot, too. While they do use a litter box some, it’s not consistent. More like, Oh, I’m in here exploring the recycled paper, I’ll use the box now … but when I’m not in my box, I’ll just go here, there, and all over my cage. So my girls have to sweep up the poo pellets several times a day. Since we use a fleece system, they have to deep-clean and wash the bedding three times a week. Believe me, it becomes a chore.

When my girls are playing or cuddling with their piggies, it’s all love and adoration. When it comes time to doing their chores, however, I  often hear complaints. Will I do it for them? Absolutely not! Not unless they are sick, or away from home. Will I let them give their guinea pigs away? No, actually, I won’t. I see how much they truly adore them, and I know it’s good for them to learn to take responsibility for the pet they’ve adopted. It’s not a life-long burden after all; guinea pigs don’t have the longest life span anyhow! Someday, my girls will most likely want children, and in small ways, learning to be responsible for their pets teaches them a skill they will need for parenting—which is a lifetime commitment.

What about sports, piano lessons, and other kinds of activities? In our family, when you join a team, you’re there for the season. Unless there is an injury, I will see that my kids follow through. The other members are depending on them, and their word should be enough. Even though it’s hard sometimes, the joy of winning the game — or giving it your best shot — is it’s own kind of reward. It’s fun to be a part of something bigger than yourself. Learning to be a team player builds the kind of character a boss will appreciate some day!

We are getting ready to start a season of volleyball. I know it’s going to be difficult to get up for those early morning practices. But 10 years down the road, getting up at 6 a.m. for work every day will be, too. Developing the skills to stick to something is extremely important for our children.

I have two children in Taekwondo. It was so exciting to start, but three years into the journey, it has become hard at times … physically demanding, and emotionally challenging as well. They are now asked to get up front of the class, to lead exercises and stretches. For my shy child, that is terrifying.

Each new belt testing is scary: to know someone is watching and grading your moves, to see that board and know the whole gym is watching to see if you can break it.

Sparring two-on-one can be intimidating — but it’s also good for them to know how to defend themselves, should they ever need to. My daughter is the only girl left in her belt division; that by itself is daunting. She was terrified of the belt testings in the beginning. She wanted to quit before her first test, and each one that followed. I originally told her she had to stick to it though at least three belts. We also decided she could never quit just before belt testing.

After her third belt ceremony, she was so thrilled she told me to never let her quit even if she begged to. Knowing my daughter, I recognize she has a habit of being all excited to start something, then petering out, wanting to move on to the next thing that catches her attention. However, I’m holding her to her word. She’s getting ready to test for her brown belt, and even though she has her moments of complaint, she knows quitting isn’t an option.

Both of them have only three more belts before reaching black belt, and I know they will both be ecstatic. That sense of pride over something they’ve worked so hard to accomplish? It’s priceless. At some point in the not-so-distant future, their marriages will have difficult days, and the job they once loved might become tedious. Good habits they form now — including perseverance — will go a long way to carry them through those rough patches.

My advise: think twice next time your child has been part of something and wants to drop out. Prayerfully weigh their reasons for wanting to quit. You might decide it would be the best thing, after all, or you may find it’s better to encourage them to persevere for the sake of developing character. Watching them reap the sweet rewards of success will be worth the challenges of all those hard days.