One of the questions homeschool parents—especially new ones—often ask is whether they should join a local support group.

As someone who has been involved with several groups in the 13+ years we have homeschooled, my answer is YES…but a qualified yes.

If you are new to homeschooling, finding a way to meet and get to know other homeschool moms is vital. You may have friends with children the same age as your own, but there will be times when it takes another home educator to understand what is happening in your life. Maybe you’re fortunate enough to have many close friends, or a large number of families in your church or neighborhood, who also homeschool. If so, that’s wonderful. Count your blessings! But many moms will need to seek out support, especially in the early days.

The right homeschool support group is out there, but it may take a little homework on your part, maybe even some trial and error, to find it. Click To Tweet

Homeschooling has grown exponentially in recent years. That’s great news, and it means that today, we have many options not available even a decade ago. Asking friends what homeschool group they recommend is a good start, but don’t assume that’s enough: a group that is perfect for someone else’s family could be all wrong for yours. When you are considering different groups, you’ll want to ask a few questions:

1. What is the group’s main activity?

• Most teaching co-ops devote the bulk of their resources to classes; be sure you can commit to showing up each week, and expect to give your own time. Even if you aren’t teaching, you will most likely be asked to volunteer in some other capacity.
• Groups that focus mostly on social activities will probably require less of you, but they may not meet on a consistent time or day. They may also ask you to help plan a party or field trip.
• Some groups regularly plan events for moms, and others focus exclusively on activities for children. Be sure you understand this, and find one that is right for your situation. If your husband travels frequently for work and you don’t have a babysitter, you may not be able to attend a monthly mom’s night.

2. Is the group explicitly religious or secular? Do they have a statement of beliefs, and do you agree with it?

• While religious homeschooling groups were the norm for many years, secular groups are becoming more common. Think about the culture of each group you are considering, and what you want for your family. Look for one that meshes with your priorities, interests and worldview.
• Some religious support groups require members to sign a statement of faith; secular groups may discourage religious displays or discussions at their functions. Do your research in advance and consider whether you are willing to honor the guidelines before you become a member.

3. Are students segregated by age, or are most activities appropriate for all ages?

• Groups that are more age-segregated tend to focus on age-appropriate activities—as you might expect! This can work very well if all of your children are more narrowly spaced. But for families with a larger span of ages, the schedule can be quite hectic and the youngest and oldest siblings are sometimes excluded.
• Groups that tend to plan events for all ages are great for families whose children are farther apart in age. However, you may find that some of the activities are too advanced for young children, or not interesting enough to keep the attention of older ones.

4. What can you expect financially?

• Some groups do everything possible to keep costs low. They charge minimal membership fees, if any, and try to plan with single-income families in mind. If you watch expenses closely, this type of group may be the best choice for you.
• If you are considering a teaching co-op, expect some additional costs that are not included in any membership fees. Depending on the type of co-op, those costs can be substantial. Don’t be afraid to ask in advance. Doing your recon work on the front end is better than joining, only to realize your family can’t afford to participate.
• There are groups that charge higher fees and, in exchange, require less time commitment from parents. This can be a great option if you have a particularly busy schedule or don’t have a tight budget.

5. What about Facebook groups or forums?

• Online communities are an excellent resource. They can be an absolute godsend if you live in an isolated area, don’t have a vehicle to drive to events, or if your mobility is otherwise limited. But as is so often the case, it’s best to try to find opportunities to meet in person if at all possible. In a face-to-face conversation, you can get a sense of a person’s heart and what they’re truly trying to say. In addition, your children have the opportunity to socialize with other kids their age.

6. What if your family’s interests or circumstances change?

• Like every other activity, your membership should be revisited regularly. Ask yourself, what is our family’s reason for being part of a support group? If your current group doesn’t fit with your goals, don’t renew for the upcoming year.
• If you make a commitment, do your best to keep it unless a serious, unavoidable situation prevents you from doing so. This goes for both long-term (“I agreed to teach an etiquette class next semester”) and short-term (“We signed up for the zoo field trip on Tuesday”) obligations. A child with a 103° fever is serious and unavoidable. A sunny day that makes you wish you could be at the park instead of the metal fabrication factory tour you signed up to attend? Not so much. You want your children to learn to keep their word, right? Be that person of integrity, and teach by example.

A support group is a great place to build relationships with other moms who truly understand your life and can offer advice, encouragement, and maybe the occasional shoulder to cry on. It will also challenge your preconceptions about homeschooling: you’ll encounter an incredible variety of personalities, lifestyles, and reasons why families choose home education. You’ll meet moms with whom you feel instant kinship, and probably one or two that make you want to run the other direction the next time you see them approach. It’s a slice of real life, after all.

The right group is out there, but it may take a little homework on your part, maybe even some trial and error, to find it. Take your time, ask questions, and remember that this entire lifestyle is about learning as you go.