Today I sat down and started to write about why homeschoolers, especially new ones, should join a support group. One of my reasons—I had bullet points, people!—was to form relationships with more experienced moms, and learn from them about life as a homeschooling family.
It occurred to me, though, that we very rarely see the reality of each other’s lives. We’re accustomed to images of Pinterest-perfect homes and Food-Network-worthy meals, everywhere we look. If TV (or Facebook!) can be trusted, others moms are flawless day after day, never breaking a sweat or mussing their hair as they keep a tidy house, drive all 6 kids to soccer and ballet and intermediate French lessons, volunteer at church, then waltz home in plenty of time to prepare amazing, healthy meals and plate them on gorgeous dishes to serve to their adoring families.
Talk about pressure.
A lovely, gracious woman once told me that she felt the greatest compliment guests could pay her was to say they were comfortable in her home. Not, “What an exquisite chandelier.” Not, “Your chocolate soufflé is the best I’ve ever had.”
That made an indelible impression on me. Don’t misunderstand me: there’s nothing wrong with having a beautiful formal dining room or perfecting a difficult recipe. If you have the passion and the time, go get ‘em, girlfriend.
But the truth is, most of us don’t live that way, especially while raising and teaching children.
Perfection is impossible, especially when you're homeschooling. Click To TweetRecently, our family had a very long, busy day. As the dinner hour approached, I realized that I had absolutely no plan for our meal. None. And we don’t exactly live in a place where delivery is an option.
With our youngest child’s bedtime looming, I rummaged through fridge, freezer, and pantry. My pathetic last-minute Hail Mary meal consisted of corn dogs and boxed mac & cheese, plus whatever fresh fruit each of the kids chose to accompany it.
It did not feel like one of my finer moments.
But it is a true story, and I believe it’s the sort of thing we need to own up to every so often.
We need to stop trying to out-perfect each other. If I could ask something of homeschoolers, it would be this: please don’t try to be a TV mom, striving to impress others with your spotless house and bulletproof monthly meal plan, and kids who are flawlessly presented and perfectly behaved all lined up in a row. Because that’s not reality, and nobody coming into this should be led to believe it is.
Perfection is impossible, especially when you’re homeschooling.
You know what is possible? Hospitality. Even in the midst of our messiness, we can encourage another mom who may need it more than we’ll ever know.
Even in the midst of our messiness, we can encourage another mom who may need it more than we'll ever know. Click To TweetSo here are my revised bullet points for today:
1) Read 1 Peter 4:8-10: Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins. Show hospitality to one another without grumbling. As each has received a gift, use it to serve one another, as good stewards of God’s varied grace.
2) Befriend someone new and invite that person to your home. If you’re a veteran homeschooler and you meet a mom who’s new to it, GREAT! Invite her to lunch with her kids. Otherwise, pick a young mom from church or your child’s sports team.
3) Don’t deep-clean your entire house, top to bottom, before they come. Remember, “love covers a multitude of sins.” Seriously, the last time someone invited you over, did you notice whether they had dusty baseboards? (Dear reader, I sincerely hope you answered “no” without hesitation. If not, please try to get there. We all need grace, in so many areas.)
4) Serve sandwiches. On paper plates. With Oreos for dessert. If you want to dress things up, go for the Double-Stuf or maybe the cute seasonal kind.
Gracious, biblical hospitality is not about impressing others. It’s about opening your home in love and making guests feel comfortable there.
Gracious, biblical hospitality is not about impressing others. It's about opening your home in love and making guests feel comfortable there. Click To TweetTake a breath and enjoy the freedom in that truth. I promise your guests will too.
So…needed….this! Thank you for the conviction I got from the challenge: “We need to stop trying to out-perfect each other.” So true! In fact, you’ve reminded that hospitality really isn’t about me at all! I’ve got to do better in this area. Thanks for taking it all back to Scripture.
Thanks, Annie! I think MOST of us need the challenge – I know I certainly do! It’s hard to get past the knee-jerk reaction that the house isn’t clean enough, the food isn’t “special” enough, or I don’t know how I’ll keep someone (and their kids) entertained for an afternoon. But looking at the scriptural basis for hospitality helps remind me that it’s not about ME; it’s about God’s command to love one another, and this is one way to do it.