Where’s Lydia?

We were all busy in our second-floor schoolroom, and suddenly, 18-month-old Lydia was nowhere in sight. Knowing the stairs were just down the hall, I had a mother moment of panic, and we all tore off in different directions to locate the missing toddler.

After what felt more like two hours but was probably a less-than-two-minute search, I rounded the corner into the master bath and there she was, surrounded by a sea of toilet paper. Sitting on the floor in front of the toilet, with her white-blonde hair gathered into her signature “fountain” pig tail on top of her head (think Pebbles in the Flintstones), innocent blue eyes wide when she looked up in response to my shout of,  LYDIA!

My little beauty looked like an angel sitting atop a white cloud. As our eyes locked, she slowly reached down and lifted up as much toilet paper as her chubby hands could hold and then slowly lifted it up to her nose and sniffed as if to say, Just needed to blow my nose, Mom!

That story still reigns in Macfarlan Family history as a favorite. 

Our three oldest were 3, 6, and 8 when Lydia was born. They were still at ages that required some mother/teacher supervision.  I decided that Lydia’s toddler and preschool years couldn’t pass in front of a TV, or wandering aimlessly through the house, while the rest of us buckled down for school (though as we learned, escape attempts were sometimes successful). My desire was to make her feel special, loved, and an important part of all we were doing.

It is possible to make a toddler feel special, loved, and an important part of all the family does while homeschooling older children. Click To Tweet

Here are a few of the ideas that worked for our family. I’m hoping you can find one or two that might work with yours.  Of course, feel free to tweak, change, and adapt to fit your own life and situation.

1. Inclusion
   Even preschoolers got school supplies, a first day of school gift, and a place at the table in the school room. She would usually get to hold up the American flag in our first-day-of-school group photo each year.
2. School-Only Toys
   Lydia always had a few toys that were off limits during the rest of the day. Playing with these toys only during school time made them more special and desirable. You don’t need to necessary spend a lot of money. Gently used toys from a garage sale were cleaned and stored. They were “new” to her.
3. Craft Box
   We filled a box for her with stickers, markers, crayons, etc. She could sit at the table during school hours, coloring and creating to her heart’s content.
4. Opening Time
   I’ll probably write a future blog about our daily opening. We included Bible reading, prayer, Pledge of Allegiance, a word of the day, and a long quote (Preamble to the Constitution, class poem, etc.) or passage of Scripture for memory work. Lydia listened and recited along with the rest.
5. Scheduled Lydia Time
   Each year, I worked on a new school schedule. This may seem a bit over-the-top for many more laid-back mamas, so I’ll issue a disclaimer up front: we didn’t always keep to the schedule. It was more like a guide. We may not have eaten lunch at precisely 12:30 PM each day, but this mama took confidence in knowing we knew that was the goal. (Note: homeschooled kids wail like it’s child abuse the first year the schedule includes school after lunch. I postponed the wailing by pushing back lunch a little later for a couple of years.)

   Each older child had a 30-minute dedicated Lydia slot on their schedule.  For example:
   9-9:30          Kyle read to Lydia
   10-10:30      Luke do Legos with Lydia
   11-11:30       Ginger work on puzzles with Lydia

   Besides just keeping Lydia occupied, this was a sweet time for her to interact with each of her older siblings. Being one-on-one brings on a different dimension than all being together.  It taught the older ones to be patient and loving, as well. 

6. Read Aloud Time with Mom
   I made it a priority to read aloud for 30-60 minutes each day after lunch. We made a weekly visit to the library with a sturdy milk crate. It’s the one place we visited where Mom could (almost) always reply, Yes! or Sure! when they held up something to take home. (A nice contrast to my Not today or No at the grocery store.) Lydia could always join in with this time, curling up on the couch alongside the other kids.

7. Letter of the Week
   Homeschooling is expensive. As they get older, the books and materials only become more costly. So during the preschool years, you can keep costs down by just building your own plan. We did that by focusing on a letter each week. During A Week, for example, we made applesauce, read books about airplanes and applies, glued beans onto an outline of the letter A, and memorized Romans 3:23, “…all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.”

There will be those days that desperation wins out, and your toddler spends the morning with Dora or Caillou (back in the day, it was Barney and Clifford).  Give yourself a break and do what you must to survive. But also congratulate yourself for each hour your child does not spend in front of a screen. Take it from one who’s been there: the days go by slow, but the years go by fast. Savor the days and embrace each moment!